he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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