Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
