If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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