I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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