well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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