You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Randomize
