Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
