My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
