we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
