I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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