All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
