Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
