well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
