Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
