I feel like I'm in dance class right now
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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