guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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