Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
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