She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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