you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
