Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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