i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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