It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
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All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you