Texts From Last Night

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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!

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  (870): Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!! http://tfl.nu/9cgb
  Replies (63) Good night (1095) Bad night (2242)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.

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  (763): I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it. http://tfl.nu/zncn
  Replies (32) Good night (6840) Bad night (1035)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"

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  (603): i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword" http://tfl.nu/1vn8
  Replies (16) Good night (1403) Bad night (5887)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.

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  (603): i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes. http://tfl.nu/r21u
  Replies (2) Good night (1740) Bad night (977)
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  (914): View more from New York

  He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike

  (1-914): View more from New York

  Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?

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  (914): He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike (1-914): Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles? http://tfl.nu/k5nf
  Replies (1) Good night (1803) Bad night (462)
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  (707): View more from California

  I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.

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  (707): I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist. http://tfl.nu/o2an
  Replies (3) Good night (984) Bad night (953)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."

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  (901): You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants." http://tfl.nu/f9vw
  Replies (6) Good night (510) Bad night (1191)
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  (707): View more from California

  I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.

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  (707): I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show. http://tfl.nu/jiaj
  Replies (3) Good night (461) Bad night (668)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...

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  (901): As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you... http://tfl.nu/9ceg
  Replies (10) Good night (588) Bad night (1966)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.

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  (773): All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now. http://tfl.nu/dqh8
  Replies (6) Good night (889) Bad night (365)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.

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  (270): So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night. http://tfl.nu/84fm
  Replies (1) Good night (620) Bad night (343)
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  (619): View more from California

  I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.

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  (619): I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good. http://tfl.nu/rh08
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (408)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)

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  (828): thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss) http://tfl.nu/ut31
  Replies (0) Good night (481) Bad night (235)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  You get 5 min

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.

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  (734): You get 5 min (586): Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative. http://tfl.nu/1qfm
  Replies (4) Good night (1195) Bad night (384)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.

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  (+44): Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever. http://tfl.nu/fu0y
  Replies (2) Good night (222) Bad night (399)

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