Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it