if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.