OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.