u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
