i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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