you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
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