K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
