dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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