I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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