I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
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