I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Drake has all the answers
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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