So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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