I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
