If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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