Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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