Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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