Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
