Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
so much tequila, so little girl.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
