Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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