i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
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I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
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I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
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