her vagine was all disorganized.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
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