You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
