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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize