oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
i've created a new STD.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize