i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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