Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize