I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I just cut my nipple shaving
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
