it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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