y did u give ur computer a hand job?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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