well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
