how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have post one night stand depression
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