..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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