I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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