im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I'm just crazy horny about you
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
