I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
