I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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