I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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