perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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