Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
No subtext here. People are naked.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
