theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
