so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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