Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
