tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
