I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
